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The Art
of Spiritual Friendship
by Envoy Charles
Roberts
“Being Missional means actually doing mission right where you
are. Missional means adopting the posture of a missionary,
learning and adapting to the culture around you while
remaining biblically sound.”
Breaking the Missional Code, Ed Stetzer
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the
greatest of these is love."
--1 Corinthians 13:13
"In order to win a soul, you have to make a friend."
-Lt. Col Lyell Rader, O.F.
"In order to meet Jesus, they first have to know you, because
the Jesus they meet is the Jesus in you."
-cr
"The entrance to the kingdom of God is by personal conversion,
but the nature of that kingdom is social.
The kingdom of God is the most astonishingly radical proposal
ever presented to the human race."
E. Stanley Jones 1928
The church exists by mission just as fire exists by burning.
– Emil Brunner
The essence of the kingdom of God is LOVE.
Jesus told us to love one another, as He loves us.
Without the grace of God, this is a tall order.
We have to begin with the Scriptures, because they
constitute our rule of Christian faith and practice.
In other words, the Bible shapes what we believe and
what we do. If we
are to live a Bible-shaped life, our inner experience of
holiness reflects our outer behavior of holy living.
So let's get our whole self in the Word and get the
whole Word into us, shall we?
Listen and meditate on one verse of Scripture, in a
variety of translations.
Key verse: Romans 12:9
New International Version
(NIV)
Love in Action
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is
good.
1599 Geneva Bible (GNV)
9 [a]Let love be without dissimulation (concealment of one's
thoughts, feelings, or character; pretense.) Abhor that which
is evil, and cleave unto that which is good.
Footnotes:
Romans 12:9 Now he cometh to the duties of the second Table,
which he deriveth from charity, which is as it were the
fountain of them all. And he defineth Christian charity by
sincerity, hatred of evil, earnest study of good things, good
affection to help our neighbor, and whose final end is, the
glory of God.
Amplified Bible
9 [Let your] love be sincere (a real thing); hate what is evil
[loathe all ungodliness, turn in horror from wickedness], but
hold fast to that which is good.
Living Bible
9 Don’t just pretend that you love others: really love them.
Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good.
JB Phillips
9 Let us have no imitation Christian love. Let us have a
genuine break with evil and a real devotion to good.
The Message
9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run
for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be
good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
What is this verse trying to say?
What do hear and hold on to differently through hearing
the translations? What does this verse tell you about the
nature of friendship?
About the nature of spiritual friendship?
You Cannot Be Fake.
There will be no scalping’s for souls.
Touch one life, touch an entire life.
True, authentic, genuine, transparent spiritual friendship is
the launching pad for HOPE
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Hope liberates.
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Hope unleashes compassion.
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Hope encourages people.
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Hope motivates.
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Hope helps people attempt new things.
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Hope motivates people to find new strength.
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Hope propels people forward—even when it seems
impossible.”
Excerpt From: Johnston, Ray. “The Hope Quotient: Measure It.
Raise It. You’ll Never Be the Same.”Thomas Nelson, 2014-03-01.
iBooks.
This material may be protected by copyright.
People are dying for LOVE.
People are dying for HOPE.
People are dying for FAITH.
Faith / salvation means many things.
It includes repentance, union with Jesus, forgiveness
of sins, receiving the Holy Spirit, healing, deliverance,
release from harm, peace, and more.
To get this, it involves a change of heart from
self-rule to God's rule.
We trust (emotional aspect), confess sin (moral aspect)
and choose (volitional aspect) to follow Jesus in his way of
life and mission.
All things are set right as one is brought into the community
of faith. Same
dimensions within marriage.
So, the art of spiritual friendship, in essence, is the
impartation of faith, hope and love in the context of everyday
authentic and mutually transparent relationships.
Where are the people we can connect with for spiritual
friendship?
Third places. In
1989, Ray Oldenburg coined the term "third place"
to describe informal meeting places that serve as
"anchors" of community life and facilitate and foster broader,
more creative interaction.
Oldenburg gives us the guidelines for the best "third
places:"
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Free or inexpensive
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Food and drink, while not essential, are important
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Highly accessible: proximate for many (walking distance)
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Involve regulars – those who habitually congregate there
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Welcoming and comfortable
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Both new friends and old should be found there
Does it sound like the Boston tavern "Cheers" from the sitcom,
"the place where everybody knows your name."
We need those places (first place being home, and the
second place, work)
Can you think of some third places in your community?
How do you make friends?
Begins with sharing common interests: Do you have a hobby or a
collection, or do a sport that other people would enjoy? Too
often, Christians don't spend enough time doing things they
love to do, and these are ways to build friendships with
people who are far away from God.
Ask yourself:
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What do I love to do?
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How could I do what I love with people who don't know Jesus
yet?
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How do I do what I love and bring others along?
With the good weather now, you can walk, run, bike, do Zumba,
the gym, BBQ....are there any groups you can join with people
who do the same thing?
Do not be afraid to share your struggles:
You don't have to have it all together to share your
faith. It's about
sharing your life with someone, even where God is still
working on you.
Especially that.
People will let us in if they feel we have shared their
struggles. Share
your humanity.
Get off script. I
can teach you various ways to share the proof texts for the
Gospel, and they are great to learn.
But the best script is your personal life.
Be honest, transparent about yourself, and how God is
helping you.
Just living off of the script keeps you from making a
real friendship, and are eyes and ears are closed to the
actual spiritual journey of our friend.
Tell the story of you.
What's your transformation story?
Tell it!
Wherever you go, bring someone with you.
Whenever possible and appropriate, try to invite people
and bring them along to events.
This is because the longer one is a Christian, the
fewer non-Christian friends they have.
So, we have to go where people are, and bring them to
where we are.
Get out of the Christian "ghetto."
John Stott calls some Christians "rabbit hole
Christians," those who run from holy huddle to holy huddle.
Take a good look at
where you hang, and with whom you hang.
How can we intentionally include our neighbors, and
people we meet into real friendships?
Be ready to start spiritual conversations.
Most people who are not Christians are skeptical, they
do not trust Christians or the church.
They know all the bad news about the latest scandal,
but often don't have the basic facts of Christian belief,
learning most of what they know from television.
Most people need trust to be rebuilt; often they have a
story where they were hurt by a Christian or even a Christian
leader.
How do we start conversations?
Let's see how Jesus did it (John 4)…
What were the emotions the woman at the well was dealing with?
She was dealing with being shunned, being ignored,
devalued, abandoned, desperate, closed down from making
friendships, rejected, marginalized, distrust, anger,
depression, etc.
How did Jesus enter into her world?
He needed help.
He was thirsty.
Jesus placed himself in the position of need.
How can people care for us, and in doing so, we enter
into their world?
(Servers, hairstylists, baristas, etc.)
Minister to wounded hearts.
Just as Jesus did, he spoke the truth in love.
Recently a new convert asked me for advice.
Essentially she was asking did God cause her to lose
her license so that her kids would come to church.
Kindly, I reminded her that God is good, and God is
just. You lost
your license because you were driving without insurance. God
is just. Your
kids now have to drive you to church, and you get your heart's
desire. God is
good.
Speak salvation.
Just what is salvation!? Wait for, and record responses.
It is the dynamic and in-breaking rule of God to make
all things right.
More than an individual decision, it is the creation of the
new community, to serve as the hands and feet of Jesus: giving
Jesus maximum attention, and imitating His acts, bringing
heaven to earth.
Salvation is restoration of God's gracious rule for
individuals, families, communities, nations, and all of
creation.
We are travel guides on the spiritual journeys of others,
armed with conversation, being able to help people heal along
the way.
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From programs to processes to people
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From demographics to discernment
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From models to missions
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From attractional to incarnational
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From uniformity to diversity
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From professional to passionate
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From seating to sending
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From decisions to disciples
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From additional to exponential
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From monuments to movements
Breaking the Missional Code, Ed Stetzer
What neighborhood or network of people are you already One Of?
As a follower of Jesus, are you For them? Are you really With
them? Do you actually like them?
A more revealing set of questions might be: Would the people
in my network or neighborhood say that I am For them?
Would they say that I am With them? Do they consider me to be
One Of them?
Colossians 4:2-6
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our
message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for
which I am in chains.
Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the
most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always
full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to
answer everyone.
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