What the College Taught me
But what I could only
learn as an Officer
by
Lieut. Colonel Raymond Finger
College for Officer Training
Officership has evolved and it continues to do so and you hear
it at best when speaking with older officers who reflectively
say things like, ‘when I was a cadet’ or, ‘when I was your
age’ or, ‘back in my day…….’
All they’re really saying is, ‘Officership is different now.’
But one thing has never changed and that is; this is an
Officer Training College.
From time to time when I am in Canberra, travelling to and
from the airport we pass Duntroon, the prestigious Royal
Military College for officer training, where this country's
finest military personnel are trained.
Driving through the College can be quite an experience, to see
pristine lawns, immaculate buildings and grounds with
perfectly uniformed officers walking with distinctive military
correctness, is impressive.
It seems to me that the objective of both Colleges may not be
dissimilar, theirs, is military leadership, whilst ours is
spiritual leadership.
I would not say that our language is the same, but our
terminology may be similar, we would each speak of an enemy,
we both teach strategy, and we have our own leadership
“Bible.”
We each have our “rules” of engagement. We have corps, they
have corps, we have divisions, and they have divisions, we
have rank, they have rank. We are trained to lead and they are
trained to lead.
That is the purpose for which Colleges like these exist to
prepare people for battle, to help them know what to do when
the moment comes.
I applied myself well during training, I studied, I was not an
A grade achiever, but I worked hard and I felt ready to go to
my first assignment with eager anticipation.
But you know, in training it all seemed so easy, we would hit
and run, there one moment and gone the next, we had salvo
celebrity status, we were a novelty. We were young, full of
passion and enthusiasm, everyone loved being around cadets, we
were gods and I think deep down we loved it.
When I was commissioned, I was appointed back to the Training
College were I served for a further two years before being
appointed to the Altona Corps.
But it wasn’t long before I became overwhelmed by the enormous
difficulty and challenges that seemed harder than I had
imagined. I was alone. I had so few able people to help me in
the battle. All the crowds had gone chasing after the new
Cadets that had entered training.
The soft environment of the training college gave way to the
rugged reality of living in the truth and it was then that my
weakness, vulnerability, inexperience and spiritual immaturity
were exposed, I felt naked and ashamed. I felt ill-equipped
for what I needed to do, I began to realise that in fact, I
knew so little.
I felt like a fraud, incompetent and in that moment of
truthful reflection, I came to accept the reality that I had
come to love the Army and Officership more than I loved God.
The mission meant more than the Master.
My personal holiness was little more than legalism that
instructed the way I should live and what I should teach. I
served the Church with God at the fringe.
The college had given me the framework, the Bible knowledge,
the doctrinal understanding, the time and space for spiritual
reflection, instruction on principles and procedures, pastoral
and practice.
Generally speaking, I received it only as learning and
knowledge and failed to transition it as, the way of God
within me.
My heart and passion was to, “go into all the world and preach
the gospel to every creature.” Mark 16:15.
I wanted to go and “do the work of an evangelist.” 2 Timothy
4:5
I felt I had learned what it was an Officer was called do, but
I had failed to learn what an Officer is intended to be. I had
not as readily learned what it was to be a man of God, a
priest, a prophet or a pastor.
Since that time my Officership has been a quest for spiritual
depth and I know live in the mystery of Philippians chapter 2
and verse 5.
It matters little to me how you contextualise the verse within
the chapter, but I am captured by the idea of the mind of
Christ, knowing full well that it is the mind that instructs
so much of our being.
The truth is, I think this is the real deep down quest of all
Christians that was spoken of by Paul when he wrote.
Philippians 3:7-10 (Amplified Translation)
7But whatever former things I had that might have been gains
to me, I have come to consider as one combined loss for
Christ's sake.
8Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the
possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming
preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of
knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming
more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving
and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly].
For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be
mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain)
Christ (the Anointed One),
9And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not
having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my
own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic
uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus
acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which
comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly]
right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving]
faith.
10[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I
may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted
with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the
wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and
that I may in that same way come to know the power out flowing
from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and
that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually
transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death,
[in the hope]
All of this has something to do with the contemplative life
that is simply that part of me that goes further into Him.
I live content with the mystery of a spiritual life that goes
from depth to depth and a sense of God that cannot be
understood as much as experienced and lived.
And for me it is like entering the matrix, of a world within a
world, connected and lived and despite my inability to know it
fully, some how it is understood.
I have known the limitations of trying to lead out of my own
logic and learning, and as a result made so many mistakes that
at the time, I thought were all right, but I am of the view
that I now lead out of spiritual soundness and depth. With I
think, fewer errors of judgement.
In my ministry these days, I am frequently challenged by
presenting issues that are beyond my natural self and have to
do with ethics and values and sometimes the challenge of
managing the tension between principles and compassion.
I am so dependant upon the mind of Christ, but understand only
too well that the mind of Christ lives within my humanity,
with all its faults, frailty and inconsistency.
The spiritual depth of my leadership could only have come
about by being faced with the different and at times difficult
challenges of ministry.
When confronted by environments that required my being there,
that required my attention, that threw me into chaos and at
times where I felt compromised, they took me out of my world
of certainty and I either surrendered to it, or rose to it.
During my days in training, if you had asked me if I had
surrendered my life to Christ, my answer would have been,
absolutely yes! But I have come to discover that the real test
of the surrendered life, is when it is lived among people and
not in the pulpit.
Real surrender to God comes on the battlefield after you roll
out every big gun you’ve got, and find that you are loosing
ground big time.
Real surrender to God comes after you try every formula;
strategy and idea you have, only to find that you can’t even
get out of the starting blocks.
Real surrender to God comes, when you find that all the
knowledge, learning and information you have, doesn’t mean a
thing to those who sit in your company with problems that you
have no idea what to do about.
Real surrender to God comes when your best intentions are
misunderstood and people are walking out the door determined
they will not be back.
Real surrender to God comes when you arrive at the moment of
knowing:
I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the
priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the
surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ
Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and
intimately acquainted with Him.
The college directed me in applied spiritual learning, but I
only learnt it as an officer, because I had to live it and
live in it, so as to discover myself, my limitations,
weaknesses and how much more I needed to know.
The college exposed me to spiritual warfare, but I could not
be a leader in spiritual warfare when every Wednesday and
Sunday I went out on placement for a few hours and then
retreated back into the garrison.
I could only learn by living in the battle, by being wounded,
healing and learning from it and facing it again and again.
By growing up, by being tall and by growing down into the
enabling grace of God who is the one who gives me the ability
to do His work.
They taught me this at the training college, but I could only
really have learnt it as an officer.
It is only since being an Officer that I have come to
genuinely understand what is meant by the scripture.
“Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.”
John 4:4
Raymond A. Finger Lieut-Colonel
CHIEF SECRETARY
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