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What the College Taught me
But what I could only learn as an Officer
by Lieut. Colonel Raymond Finger
College for Officer Training


Officership has evolved and it continues to do so and you hear it at best when speaking with older officers who reflectively say things like, ‘when I was a cadet’ or, ‘when I was your age’ or, ‘back in my day…….’

All they’re really saying is, ‘Officership is different now.’ But one thing has never changed and that is; this is an Officer Training College.

From time to time when I am in Canberra, travelling to and from the airport we pass Duntroon, the prestigious Royal Military College for officer training, where this country's finest military personnel are trained. Driving through the College can be quite an experience, to see pristine lawns, immaculate buildings and grounds with perfectly uniformed officers walking with distinctive military correctness, is impressive.

It seems to me that the objective of both Colleges may not be dissimilar, theirs, is military leadership, whilst ours is spiritual leadership.

I would not say that our language is the same, but our terminology may be similar, we would each speak of an enemy, we both teach strategy, and we have our own leadership “Bible.”

We each have our “rules” of engagement. We have corps, they have corps, we have divisions, and they have divisions, we have rank, they have rank. We are trained to lead and they are trained to lead.

That is the purpose for which Colleges like these exist to prepare people for battle, to help them know what to do when the moment comes.

I applied myself well during training, I studied, I was not an A grade achiever, but I worked hard and I felt ready to go to my first assignment with eager anticipation.

But you know, in training it all seemed so easy, we would hit and run, there one moment and gone the next, we had salvo celebrity status, we were a novelty. We were young, full of passion and enthusiasm, everyone loved being around cadets, we were gods and I think deep down we loved it.

When I was commissioned, I was appointed back to the Training College were I served for a further two years before being appointed to the Altona Corps.

But it wasn’t long before I became overwhelmed by the enormous difficulty and challenges that seemed harder than I had imagined. I was alone. I had so few able people to help me in the battle. All the crowds had gone chasing after the new Cadets that had entered training.

The soft environment of the training college gave way to the rugged reality of living in the truth and it was then that my weakness, vulnerability, inexperience and spiritual immaturity were exposed, I felt naked and ashamed. I felt ill-equipped for what I needed to do, I began to realise that in fact, I knew so little.

I felt like a fraud, incompetent and in that moment of truthful reflection, I came to accept the reality that I had come to love the Army and Officership more than I loved God. The mission meant more than the Master.

My personal holiness was little more than legalism that instructed the way I should live and what I should teach. I served the Church with God at the fringe.

The college had given me the framework, the Bible knowledge, the doctrinal understanding, the time and space for spiritual reflection, instruction on principles and procedures, pastoral and practice.

Generally speaking, I received it only as learning and knowledge and failed to transition it as, the way of God within me.

My heart and passion was to, “go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.” Mark 16:15.

I wanted to go and “do the work of an evangelist.” 2 Timothy 4:5

I felt I had learned what it was an Officer was called do, but I had failed to learn what an Officer is intended to be. I had not as readily learned what it was to be a man of God, a priest, a prophet or a pastor.

Since that time my Officership has been a quest for spiritual depth and I know live in the mystery of Philippians chapter 2 and verse 5.

It matters little to me how you contextualise the verse within the chapter, but I am captured by the idea of the mind of Christ, knowing full well that it is the mind that instructs so much of our being.

The truth is, I think this is the real deep down quest of all Christians that was spoken of by Paul when he wrote.

Philippians 3:7-10 (Amplified Translation)
7But whatever former things I had that might have been gains to me, I have come to consider as one combined loss for Christ's sake.
8Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),
9And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.
10[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power out flowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]

All of this has something to do with the contemplative life that is simply that part of me that goes further into Him.

I live content with the mystery of a spiritual life that goes from depth to depth and a sense of God that cannot be understood as much as experienced and lived.  And for me it is like entering the matrix, of a world within a world, connected and lived and despite my inability to know it fully, some how it is understood.

I have known the limitations of trying to lead out of my own logic and learning, and as a result made so many mistakes that at the time, I thought were all right, but I am of the view that I now lead out of spiritual soundness and depth. With I think, fewer errors of judgement.

In my ministry these days, I am frequently challenged by presenting issues that are beyond my natural self and have to do with ethics and values and sometimes the challenge of managing the tension between principles and compassion.

I am so dependant upon the mind of Christ, but understand only too well that the mind of Christ lives within my humanity, with all its faults, frailty and inconsistency.

The spiritual depth of my leadership could only have come about by being faced with the different and at times difficult challenges of ministry.

When confronted by environments that required my being there, that required my attention, that threw me into chaos and at times where I felt compromised, they took me out of my world of certainty and I either surrendered to it, or rose to it.

During my days in training, if you had asked me if I had surrendered my life to Christ, my answer would have been, absolutely yes! But I have come to discover that the real test of the surrendered life, is when it is lived among people and not in the pulpit.

Real surrender to God comes on the battlefield after you roll out every big gun you’ve got, and find that you are loosing ground big time.

Real surrender to God comes after you try every formula; strategy and idea you have, only to find that you can’t even get out of the starting blocks.

Real surrender to God comes, when you find that all the knowledge, learning and information you have, doesn’t mean a thing to those who sit in your company with problems that you have no idea what to do about.

Real surrender to God comes when your best intentions are misunderstood and people are walking out the door determined they will not be back.

Real surrender to God comes when you arrive at the moment of knowing:
I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him.

The college directed me in applied spiritual learning, but I only learnt it as an officer, because I had to live it and live in it, so as to discover myself, my limitations, weaknesses and how much more I needed to know.

The college exposed me to spiritual warfare, but I could not be a leader in spiritual warfare when every Wednesday and Sunday I went out on placement for a few hours and then retreated back into the garrison.

I could only learn by living in the battle, by being wounded, healing and learning from it and facing it again and again.

By growing up, by being tall and by growing down into the enabling grace of God who is the one who gives me the ability to do His work.

They taught me this at the training college, but I could only really have learnt it as an officer.

It is only since being an Officer that I have come to genuinely understand what is meant by the scripture.


“Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.”
John 4:4

Raymond A. Finger Lieut-Colonel
CHIEF SECRETARY


 

 

 

 

   

 

 

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