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Distorted Holiness – A Testimony
by Colonel Eleanor Shepherd
Canada, Territorial Secretary for Women’s Ministry
In our
micro-story as holiness movements, we believe in the
transforming power of the Spirit for every believer – man or
woman, as part of our larger Protestant teaching on the
priesthood of all believers. We know that the Spirit gives
both the gifts for the building up of the church and the fruit
of the Spirit in transformed lives to both men and women.
Nevertheless, we still have our own equality issues.
Feminism does not equal power seeking, although one might
sometimes perceive it that way, given the actions and
attitudes of some feminists. More than seeking power, usually
feminism pursues voice. Women’s voices need heard and their
viewpoints valued.
In the way that men and women see the role of power in their
worldview, there is huge disparity. Men equate power and
authority. On the other hand, women more commonly equate power
and empowerment. Feminine use of power becomes more complex as
the ability to empower someone requires authority, in the
modern point of view. However, in the post modern world,
empowerment requires relationships that engender power for the
group.
Preaching versus administration
One area of inequality in the holiness tradition is in the
roles of preaching and administration. Here we experience a
clash of values. In our tradition, the teaching and preaching
gifts of women have been valued. Denominational decision
makers have appreciated the method by which women are able to
touch the hearts of their listeners. Although in the beginning
John Wesley was opposed to the preaching of women and
grudgingly gave them opportunities, when he saw how God used
them to reach people and convince them to accept the faith, he
supported their ordination. However, in the fields of
administration and church governance we have consistently
reverted to the more traditional complementary hierarchy, with
these tasks entrusted to men, even though women might have
administrative gifts.
In our holiness denominations, I believe that there has been a
distortion in the teaching of holiness, because of the
predominance of holiness preaching and teaching by men. It
stems from the different views of power held by men and women.
The male model of power is vertical or hierarchical.
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Males generally define
power as taking command, controlling other people and their
lives, and playing the authoritarian role. It is a question of
the strong dominating the weak, whether through money, office,
sex role, or any other means. Men generally have a competitive
mind-set issuing from this view of power. Statistics indicate
that only one out of ten men work in human services. For men,
abstractions are often their priorities. They are concerned
with numbers and counting, often hard data that they can
control.
Figure. 1.
The female model of power is circular or web shaped. (See
Figure 1.) For women, power is the ability to get things done.
The first step to doing that is to be heard. Women often have
a care taker mind-set. Research reveals that one out of three
women work in human services. Two-thirds of those who work in
fields of health, education and welfare are women.
Because our holiness teaching and preaching has come largely
from men, it tends to focus more on what we do or do not do,
rather than what God does in us. The preaching of holiness
stresses our need to give more, or to yield more, or to try
harder to be holy as He is holy. It risks becoming a self
centered struggle that leaves us frustrated.
If our holiness preaching and teaching continued to have a
greater female representation, there would be less distortion
of the message. The female view of power is not so much the
crushing of the evil in us or the combat to overcome our
nature. Rather it is an understanding of power as empowerment.
It is the recognition that we are powerless in our own
strength to be holy and the reliance upon the working of the
Spirit of God within us, to transform us. The internal
transformation translates into a transformation in behaviour.
Distortion in holiness preaching
I have come to these conclusions about holiness preaching from
my personal experience, growing up in a holiness preaching
church. As I grew up listening to holiness preaching, I came
to have a distorted idea of what holiness was all about. While
I may not have even been able to articulate it, I came to
believe that holiness was what I did and not what God through
His Holy Spirit did in me.
The gist of most of the holiness sermons that I heard seemed
to be that we should give more of ourselves to God, that we
should be yielding everything to Him, that we should be trying
harder to be holy that we ought to forsake anything in our
lives that is not holy. While these things might be true, the
message that I got was that it was not about what God would do
but about what I needed to do.
For this reason, I found that my faith was a burden that I had
to carry rather than a blessing that could carry me.
When I was about fourteen, I remember reading one of the books
by Samuel Logan Brengle, a great Salvation Army holiness
teacher. When I finished I knew that I just did not cut it. I
remember telling my mother that I really felt that I was not
making it as a Christian because I knew that I did not measure
up to the expected standard of holiness.
Brengle talked about a heart of love and I knew that was not
what I had. I was too preoccupied trying to be good. I was
somewhat confused by her response to me. She told me, although
not in those word, to stop beating up on myself. I did not
have to worry about it. Troubled by the great sense of guilt
with no obvious solution, I left the question in limbo for a
number of years and just went on being a miserable Christian.
About ten years later, the whole issue surfaced again in a new
form. This was at the time with the charismatic renewal in all
of the churches was taking flight. I read about people filled
with the Holy Spirit. They spoke in tongues and it seemed that
everywhere they went people were turning to the Lord. Their
churches welcomed many new believers. When I heard about what
was happening I wanted this power too. I became so preoccupied
with what I did not have that I lost the joy of what I did
have.
In the years between these two experiences, something else had
happened in my life. My husband and I had become involved in a
small group Bible study. It was a safe place to ask questions
about faith and to dig deep into the Bible for some of the
answers. It was through the study of the Bible in the company
of God’s people who showed me His love that I began to
understand that God loved me unconditionally. It was not as I
thought. He was not scowling at me, with impatience while I
tried to get holy. He loved me just as I was.
I discovered that it was not up to me at all. Jesus did it
all. He died on the cross for my sins and offered me His
forgiveness. When I opened my heart to Him, He sent His Holy
Spirit to live in me, His presence in me forever. For me, it
was a transformational experience.
Then all I wanted to do was to tell others how much God loved
them. I knew that if He loved me like that, He loved them too.
That was the reason I wanted to be as effective as the
charismatics that I read about. If I was not, did that mean
that His Sprit was not in me, after all?
I finally concluded that He was sovereign and it was up to
Him. If He wants me to have spectacular manifestations of His
presence in my life and can use that for His purposes, He will
give them to me. If not, I do have His Spirit living in me and
guiding me. He gives me all that I need to be effective for
Him in the way that He wants to use me. I reaffirmed my love
for Him, my gratitude to Him, and my confidence in Him.
Since then He has led me in ways I never would have imagined
and I know that the power to be more than I could be comes
from Him and not from me. He has shown me how to use the gifts
that He has graced me with, to be able to listen, to encourage
and to share what He is teaching me at a heart level. To me,
that is what it is to live a holy life.
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