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One Thing I Learned at SFOT...
...that I Never Thought I Would Need
by Cadet Michal Chapman
Normally
we celebrate stories of people who have overcome a problem
with dependence. Cadet Michal Chapman
(Witnesses for Christ, USA Southern Territory) shares her
testimony of overcoming independence.
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A strong-willed child turned strong-willed single mother
learns to depend on herself for strength. Now you maybe
thinking, “You can depend on God” which is absolutely true,
but as far as other people are concerned, who needs them?
I was always independent and somewhat of a loner, even as a
young child. During my school-aged years I developed one or
two close friendships, but was never a part of a larger circle
of friends. Hanging out at the mall or going to the movies was
OK, every once in awhile, but I was just fine at home, in my
room, with my music and nothing, no one, else. As I grew older
this became my pattern and comfort-zone. I was comfortable
being by myself and doing by myself. This became evident in
all areas of my life: at home, at work, at play. My favorite
pass-time was spending hours on the sofa watching television.
If I had a problem at work, I spent hours trying to figure it
out myself before I would dare to pick up the phone and call
for help. My social life was limited to going out to eat or to
the movies with my son, my parents, or my one friend. Spending
time with other people, relying on someone else to get the job
done, investing in relationships was not in my DNA.
Then I became a Christian and things did not change much. I
felt the need for fellowship, so I went to church – on Sunday
morning. I felt the need for prayer, so I prayed – for and by
myself. I felt the need for Bible study, so I bought a
workbook – to work on alone. The sad thing is that I was fine
with this lifestyle and I felt that I was growing closer to
the Lord. I stretched myself to welcome the children from the
Corps into my life as I took on the YPSM position. Every so
often I allowed someone new into my life, but never too close
and never for very long. You see, I did not need other people
because I could do it all myself. Except for the time that I
had to spend with my son, parents, and people due to my
commitments at the Corps, I could live alone, work alone, and
be alone. Yes, sometimes I was lonely, but I often felt that
way in a large group of people as well as when I was by
myself. I felt that as long as I trusted in my friendship with
Jesus I would be fine.
My first year of training held a surprise for me. I was
assigned to a ministry team, a group of people with whom I
shared in ministry at one of the Atlanta area Corps. We had to
plan children’s meetings, Bible Studies, Holiness meetings,
and other programs. With each passing assignment I opened
myself up more and more to asking others on the team to do
something in the service that I was planning, even asking for
ideas and accepting advice. More and more I found myself
praying for and with these teammates. This practice began to
spill over into the larger body of my session mates. Before I
knew what had happened, I found myself involved in a
fellowship and enjoying it. Furthermore, I began to realize
how much I benefitted and grew from it.
One day, at the beginning of my second year of training I
became very ill, so ill that I had to go to the hospital. A
friend drove me to the doctor’s office and went to pick up my
son from school. Another friend came to sit with me in the
emergency room until the wee hours of the morning. Yet another
friend drove me back to the doctor’s office and made a return
trip for some of my belongings when I found that I was going
to be admitted for surgery. My mother came to stay with us to
help take care of my son while I was in the hospital and
during my recovery at home. Another friend brought handouts
and notes from class to me during the days that I missed.
Moreover, I know that I was lifted up in prayer by my
community during this time. I had suffered from the illness
that sent me to the hospital for three years prior. I have to
wonder if the climax of the physical infirmity arose at this
time to teach me a lesson regarding a spiritual infirmity.
Jesus told His disciples, “My command is this: Love each other
as I have loved you” (Holy Bible, NIV, John 15:12). I believe
that He made this command because He knew that they would need
each other when He departed (physically) and when they began
their ministry together. I also believe that the book of Acts
is a testimony to their obedience to His command. Who needs
other people? I do. This is what I have learned that I never
thought I would need, I need other people. I need fellowship
with a community of believers. I need prayer support. I need
partnerships in ministry. I need friends with whom to share my
life: at home, at work, at play.
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