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From the Ashes
by Dr. Jane Hoyt-Oliver
Canton, Ohio, Malone College Professor
From the
Ashes: Surviving a Battle within the church
Ps 37
Matthew 5:43-48
Each year, our denomination asks each congregation to spend an
evening together to elect officers for various church
committees and to pass a budget. These meetings are usually
sparsely attended and last less than two hours. But, our
annual meeting was attended by several hundred people and
lasted five hours. This gathering turned into a referendum
upon my husband’s ministry, and to a great extent, a
denunciation of him as a person. Those who held key leadership
positions were voted out, and were replaced by others who were
not willing to work with him.
We had learned the week before that a small number of people,
upset that some concern they had raised within our committee
structure had not resulted in the changes they demanded, had
called every member in the church who they believed was “on
the fence.” They had not asked anyone whom they thought was a
“supporter”. We only found out about the meeting because one
family who attended called a relative who knew us well. The
relative insisted that we be told so that we could be prepared
for what was to come.
Although we never found out exactly what was said by those
disgruntled members during the meeting. Several reports
indicate that the group had gone to great lengths to tell what
they proclaimed was the “true story” about my husband. There
were apparently dark hints about my husband’s character, with
some intoning “we know things we can’t discuss- but he must
leave”. One friend told us that a private detective had been
hired, (for what we would never know).
Of course, some stories could have easily been refuted by the
careful documentation which we always kept, if the questions
had been brought to us. But we were not asked. The truth did
not matter: only the anxious “concerns” of our detractors were
shared at the “secret session”. Many who had attended the
session came and voted as a block to change the leadership of
the church.
The five hour meeting left the church shattered and numb. We
grieved not only for ourselves, and those who had been so
abruptly taken from their positions, but for the entire church
as it faced this crisis. Although our detractors thought that
a change of pastors would produce the changes they dreamed of
(most importantly with the detractors now in the leadership
positions they had been denied in the past), we knew that
their campaign had produced deep pain and suffering would not
easily heal.
Several families left the church that night never to return to
the church. Others left within six months as we made plans to
move to a new community. Within a year, the church lost many
vital and faithful families. It was painful to watch, even
from a distance. When one is in service to the Lord, one never
desires to see the suffering of others or to see the
destruction of the fruit that one tries to bring to the
community. We prayed for the church and for those who had been
so hurtful and we prayed for those who had been hurt by their
actions.
Within eight months, we were living in a new community and
serving a new church. We knew we must love these new people
and listen to their hurts and needs even as we began to
recover from the emotional shattering situation we had
recently left. We faced a dual challenge. The first was to
love and trust the members of our new congregation. This, in
itself is difficult when one feels one has been mortally
wounded by others. And yet it was crucial component to our
ministry. Part of communicating God’s love is learning to
separate the pain of the past from the concerns of the
present. If we were to do the work of ministry well, we would
need to leave behind the scars and fear that the previous
church had caused.
The second challenge was to radically examine ourselves and
our ministry at the previous congregation. If we could
discover some truth in the words of the detractors, we could
perhaps alter how we sought to serve and to proclaim the
gospel. God asks for radical transformation of our hearts and
minds: with the understanding that sometimes this may lead to
the need to change ourselves so that we can help others to
hear the Good News.
When I first became a Christian, I fully expected that life
would be a journey that would lead straight toward Jesus. I
also believed that once I had turned from my sin, not only
would God forgive me, but that I would be admired as a Godly
woman. This had not been part of the evangelistic message, but
it was to more or less implied in discussions about becoming a
faith-filled person. “If God is for [me], who can be against
[me]? I reasoned.
I have discovered that, actually many people can be against
us. Some of those who oppose the faithful are outright and
unapologetically evil. Those who profit from pornography, and
prostitution, illegal drugs, or those who embrace witchcraft.
These are great sins and they must be confronted by all who
owe primary allegiance to Christ. Far more dangerous to the
Kingdom, however are those who pose as “good” but who only
accept a washed out version of faithfulness; the Pharisees of
our own day. These are often the “good church folks” who
embrace the to the outward forms of religion but are angry
that God is bigger than they are, or fearful that God might
ask them to move away from their comfort zones and into a
hurting and pain-filled world. These are the ones that will
actively work against the wind of the Spirit because they
cannot control the Spirit of God. These are the folks that
stifle the Kingdom’s work in the 21st century.
Those of us who have been educated in Western style rational
thinking, often believe that there is a straight path to the
truth. In seeking the truth, we believe lies, (or, non-truths
which are often a bit more difficult to detect), will be
exposed and discarded. I looked for answers or clues, it was I
thought that as if I played to words and situations over
enough times in my brain, I would find the headwaters that led
to the flood of pain and separation. What I learned however,
is that when faced with change or challenge, humans create
their own ideas of truth by accepting, rejecting or modifying
what they experience in their world. The Godly woman or man
must be radically committed to seeing God’s perspective before
his or her own. She or he must be primarily committed to
seeking God’s ways over the ways that seem most comfortable or
secure. Only then can one rest in the arms of God’s peace.
In the years since that traumatic night many, good things have
happened. Our new church is vibrant, growing and has embraced
both my husband and my family. They have rejoiced as our
family has passed several important milestones and have
mourned with us in the passing of close family members. The
new congregation is excited about the ways in which God is
moving the community and are thrilled to be a part of the new
things that God is doing in their midst. With their support
our emotional healing has begun.
Of course, I wish that I could say that there is a totally
happy ending to this story and that God had already brought me
through to complete victory. The truth is that the trauma of
those times continues to resonate in my life, and I continue
to face the smaller traumas of everyday living with
trepidation. But the journey of faith is life long and there
are many lessons along the way.
Some things I have learned. I was, am, and will continue to
be, loved by the I AM God. I have and will continue to survive
the pain of those years. I have, and will continue to love my
family and those who we are called to serve. I continue to
have much to learn about the power of forgiveness. And, I have
learned that I am willing, with God’s help, to begin again
even when my world has been completely shattered by others who
call themselves faithful. That, in itself is the beginning of
healing from the ashes of pain.
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